Thomas J. Stanley, author of the bestseller The Millionaire Next Door, tells a story about his first experience with the affluent: When he was only nine years old, he convinced his older sister to give up trick-or-treating in their blue-collar neighborhood and go with him on an adventure. They crossed three social classes into Fieldston, one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in New York City. The trip took them through the woods in total darkness, but young Stanley's gut told him it would be worth it. He had expected a lot of competition, but when they arrived, they encountered no other trick-or-treaters.
The first house he visited was that of renowned British actor James Mason, who--among innumerable notable roles-- played the debonair villain in North by Northwest (1959).
"No one ever trick-or-treats me," said a startled Mason. He then gathered up every nickel, dime and quarter he could find and handed them over to Stanley and his sister. The next house had a sign posted on the door: "My husband is ill, please do not ring the doorbell. Coins are in the milk box outside." In two stops they had collected the same number of dollars that they normally expected from over 100 calls in their own neighborhood.
Stanley was trying to make the point that we shouldn't assume that the wealthy are heavily prospected--he and his sister were the sole children "prospecting" James Mason. However, I got another message from this story. I heard that sometimes you have to trust your 'gut' even when it means passing up what's readily available or known--Stanley gave up his known neighborhood because his gut told him there were greater opportunities in Fieldston. This is a hard concept for most people to get.
Secret #1: The Big Question
An entire cottage industry feeds off the myth that the more you know about the wealthy, the greater your advantage in acquiring them as clients. This is simply not true. There is no evidence to support the idea that continually absorbing data about the super-rich--such as the number of millionaires living in your state and their marital status, behaviors, priorities and preferences--will give you an edge. The very fact that you can acquire this information is evidence of its worthlessness. In my office, we call it "wealth pornography." It gets readers all excited and energized but accomplishes little else. The worst part is that it distracts advisors from the really important question: Why would a wealthy person want to talk with you? The first secret to attracting the wealthy is your answer to that question.
Secret #2: Detachment
We absorb so much information about the wealthy that the very word wealthy can induce a hypnotic trance similar to the effect a romance novel has over its readers. Scientists have attached electrodes to the brains of romance readers and found their brain changes, producing endorphins--your body's in-house version of morphine. Such a trance fills a deeper need for a feeling of connection. Similarly, reading about the wealthy makes you feel as if you are a part of their world, while in reality you are not.
"The ultra-rich are finely tuned to sense when someone wants something from them," says Santa Barbara, Calif. psychotherapist John Fox, who believes the secret to getting what you want is remaining detached from its outcome. The person who needs something the least--whether it's love, friendship or business--has the most power, in his opinion. The power to create success lies in this concept. Detachment allows for objectivity, creativity and even the element of surprise. For example:
Scenario One-You go to an important meeting with an extremely wealthy prospect. You really want to impress him--so much so that you decide you will prove yourself by doing extra work for free which, in fact, elevates the prospect above you and gives him all the power. You are so focused on the outcome that you lose perspective. You create mental images of how great your life will be once you sign up all these important wealthy clients. You even stress over the possibility of not getting this client's business: Attachment is evil stuff and can create real pressures. People can sense your desperation, which causes them to pull back from you.
Scenario Two-You go to the same meeting, but this time you are detached. Your focus has been on preparation, and you have perspective. You also have other prospects lined up, so when you stride into the meeting with Mr. Rich, who is surrounded by a team of very powerful advisors, your attitude is: "Well, here is my plan; it works like this. If we do business, that's great; if not, that's absolutely okay with me, too."
The richer people are, the more detachment appeals to them.
Secret #3: Meaningful Wealth
This is what many ultra-wealthy individuals are looking for, says Jeff Saccacio, CPA, CFP, and managing director and head of Wealth Planning for the Western U.S. for Deutsche Bank Private Wealth Management in Costa Mesa, Calif. "It used to only matter how technical you were, but today that's assumed. It needs to be more," Saccacio explains. "What can separate me from the other guy is my ability to make the experience meaningful. What makes the experience meaningful is when your client sees the impact their wealth has had on themselves, the people they care most about, and the causes they support." Saccacio also believes this experience goes way beyond providing outstanding return on investments. It includes stewardship over family wealth, providing safeguards from creditors and predators, and managing taxes. "When viewed from this perspective," Saccacio adds, "it becomes very clear which type of products, solutions and planning structures fit. Most of us want to feel our actions are meaningful, and the ultra-affluent are no different. They want their wealth to cast a long shadow--not a tiny footnote." Help them do that, continues Saccacio, and you'll have loyal clients who will pass your name on to friends.
Secret #4: Simplicity
"The world is overwhelmed by data and information, and the most successful advisors will be those who can directly transform the dangers of complexity into opportunities and advantages for their clientele," says Dan Sullivan, president of the Strategic Coach program. Can you simplify?
People who have a low ability to handle complexity often feel paralyzed by the complexity of the decisions they have to make, and invariably they try to rectify this by taking on even greater complexity. They go for even more data and information, but they already have too much, and it is confusing them. What they want are unique ways of thinking about their own issues--and a custom-designed plan and path that move them towards greater simplicity in all areas of their lives.
Complexity causes smart people to make bad decisions, communicate in counterproductive ways, and even invest in ways that set them back. Your clients need new kinds of teachers and guides to show them the way, to give them an increased sense of direction, confidence and capability in response to changing conditions. The more wealth one possesses, the greater their need for someone to help simplify their lives.
Secret #5: Drawing Conclusions
Michael Crichton, bestselling author of The Andromeda Strain and Jurassic Park, tells a story in his autobiography that occurred when he was hired to direct the film The Great Train Robbery. When Crichton showed up on location in Ireland and filming started, he was constantly frustrated by the lack of cooperation from the British crew, who would repeatedly question his decisions or drag their feet as they carried out his requests. As shooting went on, the problem worsened. Crichton's assistant knew that Coma, which he had directed, was currently being released in the States and implored him to send for a copy and have the crew watch it. Suddenly, Michael realized what his assistant had figured out: The crew knew him only as an author and lacked respect for his abilities as a movie director. The crew viewed the film--and loved it. They gained new respect for Crichton as a director, and overnight his problems disappeared. The lesson? Let people--particularly wealthy people--come to their own conclusions. They value their conclusions more highly than yours.
Secret #6: Mistrust Authority
In 2006, the number of families in the U.S. with annual incomes over $10 million exceeded 10,000. Since many in the affluent marketplace only became wealthy during the last 10 years, they generally have had little experience with financial advisors--and no long-standing loyalties. The challenge here is that the self-made often disdain the individual who speaks with too much authority. They cherish humility, even in those they suspect may be brilliant. Be careful, then, about relying on credentials and advanced degrees, even in services that require them.
Americans respect "street smarts" and prize those who combine common sense with a common touch. They also tend to assume that people with an uncommon, scholarly mastery of a subject lack the common but necessary skills. Let this be a warning to any firm thinking about touting its individuals' impressive credentials.
Secret #7 Seven: Familiarity
The wealthy find comfort in what is familiar and are uncomfortable with the unknown. The more you hear something, the more you like it. The more you see someone, the more you tend to like them. R. F. Bornstein, along with two other psychologists, demonstrated this in a 1987 experiment, the results of which were published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. The researchers subliminally flashed onto screens photos of the faces of several people--so quickly, in fact, that when interviewed later and shown the photos again, none of the subjects could recall ever seeing any of the faces before. Yet the more the person's face was flashed on the screen, the more the subjects liked that person when they were later introduced.
Perceived expertise comforts people. Financial advisors who look and sound like experts--who look and dress professionally and are often quoted in newspapers and magazines--comfort anxious clients and make them more confident in their company and themselves.
Familiarity comforts and assures people that--in a world of considerable uncertainty--they can predict what you will do from what you say. That feeling is rare, and because it is rare it is valuable, and that gives you an advantage.
If you want to appear expert, the best way to do this is by getting published. But your writing must be professional and clear, and unless you write for a living, this may not be easy to accomplish. Retain a professional writer with magazine-writing experience to help you. It will make you look even more expert to your prospects.
You want to create a specific perception for the public, the perception that you are the best in your field. You want to be perceived as having no bias in terms of products or advice. You market yourself as an advisor with expertise who enjoys meeting real-world financial challenges. That's your ideal position, and it's a powerful one.
Secret #8: Learning Disabled--Not Really
Self-made millionaires are four-times as likely to be dyslexic as the rest of population. Daniel Pink, author of A Whole New Mind, believes this comes about the same way someone who is blind compensates by developing their other senses. Dyslexics develop skills and abilities that are often found in successful entrepreneurs--skills such as big-picture thinking. Dyslexics process information visually. Most dyslexics are high-speed, right-brain, visual thinkers, and studies have found that they process information 400- to 2,000-times faster than non-dyslexics. Most kids learn how to think using the sounds of words, which is the primary thinking mode in childhood. Picture thinking falls within the subliminal band of awareness--meaning that the individual is not consciously aware of getting the thought. This is also called intuitive thinking. Often, the dyslexic person knows the answer without knowing why he knows it.
The occurrence of dyslexia among the wealthy is stunning: Kinko's founder, Paul Orfalea; Virgin Airlines' Richard Branson; Charles Schwab and Jet Blue's David Nelman. They are able to experience multiple views of the world and perceive situations from more than one perspective. They can see only a fragmentary perception and are able to fill in the blanks. They often have an uncanny ability to read body language and tone of voice, and notice abstract detail such as implied meaning and facial expression. The secret to working with wealthy dyslexics is to make things memorable. When we attach a visual to an important message, it creates recall. Make your presentations visual and memorable.
Secret #9: The Right Promotion
Promote your ideas, beliefs and values--not yourself. Many financial advisors have never stopped to consider that their marketing tactics might be all wrong. Self promotion (or pursuit) runs counter to the classic idea of the "trusted" advisory role, often putting the advisor into an adversarial position with the very prospect he is trying to win over. Most conventional marketing tactics are based on pursuit and are more likely to put wealthy prospects off. When someone wants advice, they go looking for it. Making yourself familiar to prospects in a credible way causes them to look for you.
No matter how creative the advertising, no matter how appropriate the medium, there is just no way around the issue of credibility. An advertised message is perceived to be one-sided, biased, self-serving and company-oriented rather than consumer-oriented. Publicity or public relations is a much better alternative to advertising. People believe what they hear, read or see in the media where your story or message is told indirectly through third-party outlets. The only problem is that you cannot control the timing of this kind of publicity nor where or how your story will be presented.
I have found that promoting your ideas (without being self-serving) in articles and in books that you write or have bylined creates attraction. Your ideas don't have to be sensational, entertaining or even original. They only need to stand on their own merits. Then you offer your ideas to a publisher or a magazine that your prospects read, and let the medium serve as a third-party endorsement of your message. This is called attraction marketing--a simple concept that draws attention by evoking interest, admiration and allure.
Secret #10: It's Simple
Our last secret: Attracting the wealthy is not so much about knowing who they are; it's more about the wealthy knowing who you are!
Larry Chambers is a non-fiction writer. He was a decorated Vietnam Army Ranger combat veteran and former EF Hutton stockbroker. As a business strategist, his company coaches advisors in the art of attraction marketing. For a free brochure, email Cary@Lchambers.com or go to his blog: www.Lchambers.com.
